Worry and Bad News

Is there anything worse than the agony of  not knowing?
I don't know if there's anything that can compete with it.

I wish I could say differently, but I'm not that great at handling not knowing things: Where we'll move when we have to pack up house really quickly and go...somewhere. How things will turn out in lots of different kind of situations. I guess I've got control issues.

But to top all of these has got to be someone telling you they've got bad news. They can't tell you right away, but there's bad news. That's it. Just bad news, coming your way. Could it sound more ominous? What do I do with that? I feel so helpless, and future-guilty; wary of all the ways that I am possibly implicated in the bad news that is yet to be unveiled.

I don't like it. I don't know what to do in the meantime. I don't want to be stuck like this, but I've yet to learn how to give over that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that occupies itself with worry in these types of situations. Yuck.

Since last Wednesday...

It's been...interesting, this last week.
I was going about a regular Saturday: rejoicing over finished papers, contemplating when I would be able to get the final one in between baby-clothes shopping with Susan, lifegroup, iceskating with youth and all of the regular Sunday things that we do. It was a full on weekend, even more so than normal because Danny was preaching on Sunday morning...until we got a phone call from our landlords. They'd found a new tenant for our little unit after a few months of searching, and wanted to know if we could move out by the following Friday. I'd totally forgotten that we'd ever even planned to move out! Our original plans fell through a while ago, so the whole moving concept came as a kind of shock to me.

So in the last two days, we've moved house. Mostly.
We're all moved out of our lovely little Notting Hill. The carpet cleaners are coming tomorrow, and all of our things are safely stored in Danny's parent's garage. And we are being stored with Rikki, Susan and BabyMicah for a couple of weeks until we find a new place to live.

Right now I'm desperately trying to finish my last paper for the semester so I can get on with exactly that: finding a new place to live! I could definitely do without anymore moving for a very, very long time.

The Ultimate Wishlist

Because it is kind of Christmas time, and I wish to feel like I'm five years old, all over again. So here it is...

The Ultimate Wishlist of Gigantic Porportion and Fantastical Notions:

• A political worldmap the size of a wall...kind of like this (p.s. Tollipop love!)

• Macbeth sneakers

• Complete Gilmore Girls & The West Wing DVD sets

 

• A lifetime supply of Moleskine Journals

 

 ...or even an engraved version

• A glue gun for adhesive excellence

• A date with Brooke Fraser

• A selection of black ink Sharpies, a Bic Ultra Round Stic Grip and a Uniball Vision Roller Fine point pen that never run dry

•  A Pug! ...but one without the inevitable halth problems that come from breeding the squishiest little bundle of cuteness ever.

•  A Moby wrap. Maybe it's a little strange, considering that we don't even have any babies...But being well-prepared never hurt anyone!

• A Canon EOS. Of any kind. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to photography, but I'd love to be able to do that with an EOS in hand(s).

 

• Lots and lots and lots of photoframes

It's a Wednesday

Today I:

• Accompanied my favourite blonde lady to get her son circumcised. It was super interesting, and Micah didn't even cry at all over it.

• Thought about my thoughts about Christmas

• Thought about my thoughts about Parachute band and my new favourite song by them, 'Living Rain'. Asking for God to reign over 'my life, my land' resonates with something in me that I didn't know was there. Asking the Holy Spirit to reside over my street? It's new to me...but kind of ties in with what I'm thinking about the mission field for Christians. We have this light, we're supposed to be shining it, and asking for God's help in that. I am needing to become more intentional with the living out of my faith, methinks.

• Watched Braveheart

• Cried over Braveheart. Repeatedly. It seems to be a growing trend.

• Waved good bye to Danny Lambert as he left on a boys night to the drifting track in honour of our friend, the upcoming groom.

• Thought about the Kingdom of God

• Ate icecream!

• Interviewed my friend Bevie about her thoughts on Pentecostal doctrine and practice

• Stuck new photos up on my kitchen wall of new babies, old friends and new ones.

When I study...

This is what Me Writing Assignments looks like:

Chaotic,

all consuming,

and not to be disturbed.

 

As much as I truly do love to learn, I feel like I am taking a very long time to learn how to be on top of the assignment-writing game. But there is still time. And there will always be something excellent and interesting to learn about!

...Until then, I have 10 days, and 2 papers left. 

Next stop: Summer Semester.

Janelle Monae

New person of interest: Janelle Monae.

 

Aside from her hair, which I think I might possibly love, I just think she's really...interesting.

Oprah

Dear Oprah,
Your stories about child neglect are just a little too heart-rending for me.

Kangaroos

Today was lunch-catch-ups with my favourite sisters, Danielle and Lauren.

It was not only tops to see them, but to get a real Australiana hit...There were Kangaroos! Real ones! LOTS of them:

Ok, maybe that's not a big deal to most Aussies, but I liked it.
Probably more than I liked being able to look out of Lauren's windows to see both a cow and a lamb, bleating and mooing and grunting around her back yard.

Real kangaroos! I feel so in touch with my country.
A day for patriotism, for sure. I even feel like I could handle some saos and Vegemite.

End of year: 2010

Counting down to the end of the year?
Me too, a little.

But I am loving all the action, all the same.
Assignments that come back with (preferrably good!) grades stamped at the top, end-of-year news letters, Christmas cards, break up parties, new outfits, lots of pictures, new year's resolutions?
It's chaotic and exhausting, but really pretty fun.

 

Looking back over the last almost-year, I can't believe how much has happened. And how strange it is to think that I've joined the ranks of those that must now consider writing their own end-of-year-ism's, rather than just receiving others!